How Your Ego Affects Your Life

Unlock the secrets of your inner self as I, Roland Perez, alongside our esteemed guest David Delrahim, guide you through the labyrinth of the human ego and its profound impact on our wellness. Prepare to have your perceptions transformed as we reveal the dual nature of ego—the driving force behind humanity's greatest innovations and the shadow that can lead to conflict and desolation. Together, we navigate the terrain of 'good' and 'bad' ego, carefully threading the line between ambition and humility, and illuminating the peaks and valleys that make up the rich tapestry of our lives.

Our conversation with David Delrahim offers a fresh perspective on how the ego can be both a formidable adversary and a powerful ally in our quest for harmony and purpose. We demystify age-old misconceptions about ego's correlation with age and wisdom, emphasizing the pivotal role of personal responsibility and the transformative magic of living in the moment. Embrace the wisdom shared in our enlightening exchange, and learn how to master your ego to forge a path of inner peace and fulfillment.

From the producers of PBS's American Health Journal and Innovations in Medicine. Thank you for listening to Better Wellness.

Chapters

• 0:01 Ego's Role in Wellness
• 4:54 Understanding Ego's Impact on Wellness

Transcript

Roland Perez: 0:01

We all have egos. There's nothing wrong with having an ego. There's nothing wrong with feeling important, but the ego needs to be regulated. There are ways to control your ego, Keep it from harming you and instead help your ego elevate you. Welcome to Better Wellness. I'm your host, Roland Perez, and we're listening to a podcast that explores the newest innovations in true wellness. As the executive producer of the American Health Journal for more than 25 years, I've produced over 500 30-minute award-winning television shows that air nationally on PBS with an audience of over 100 million viewers. But Better Wellness is more than all that Not only keeping your body healthy, but developing a mindset and balance that prevents illness. Our guests are experienced experts in the world of staying healthy, young and well. And let's start. Our first guest is David Delrahim, a friend and a visionary, and an expert in wellness. I wanted to talk to you today about ego, David. What is ego?

David Delrahim: 1:11

You know how many times perhaps a day, we ask ourselves or we tell each other part your ego, stop your ego, get a hold of your ego. Oh, this conversation came from the ego, or that thought process was egotistical. We say that. So what is ego Is what sets us apart as a human being from all other beings. Lately I've been hearing good ego versus bad ego. Well, it's all ego.

David Delrahim: 1:57

Ego gives us the ability, the analytical ability, to be able to analyze. That's why we have better, we have worse. You know, with the animals, they don't. You know what we say dogs, they have unconditional love. There's only one love that they know. They don't know better, they don't know worse. They don't know the right individual. There's only one, Because there is no analytical and there is no ego present. The same with the trees, the same with the ocean fish, all of them. There's zero ego. So is ego a good thing or a bad thing? So when we are born at the point I call it at the point of zero, when we are born, we are starting at point A. Imagine, and the rest of it is a journey that we go through point A to B to C, all the way. The code and code good ego, which is a seed ego. It elevates us, we go up, we experience elevations and growth in life.

David Delrahim: 3:18

So we go up the code and code. Bad ego is what pulls us down, so we go down. And if there is no ego, we just go out into a straight line. There is no up, there is no down, it's just a straight line. So ego is what we want it to be. The ego is essential for us to have the growth to move forward in life, to have a better understanding of life, to come up with all of these creations. The human ego has helped the human to grow, to come up with all of these inventions. It's a good thing. At the same time, the human ego has been a huge downside to the humans. The killing, all the harms that we put on each other in the war came from ego. You know, the wars come from ego. Even right now, in the 21st century, this country versus that country and that country wants to move and get another piece of another country. What is it Ego? I want to be the supreme power.

Roland Perez: 4:59

Okay, we're talking about wellness. How does ego work in the wellness space?

David Delrahim: 5:08

Well, you know there are three ways that ego can go A straight line, upward and a downward. The upward it creates the higher vibrations which really helps us to be more joyful and less pain. A straight line is just a straight line, it's not doing anything. When it goes down, it just is more painful. It's just painful, so depends upon which way it goes. Down or up is really. That is wellness.

Roland Perez: 5:50

How does it affect your life?

David Delrahim: 5:53

You know what the anger being angry at something stress.

Roland Perez: 6:02

Which comes basically from being thinking you're the best, somebody else says they're better, and then there's anger, and that's what the basis of this is.

David Delrahim: 6:13

You know what the anger that comes in is a some sort of an analytical process that happens that we get triggered as a result. All right, we do not like to an answer or hear something or an statement or an action. You know, we get triggered and we get angry because what we are hearing or what we are seeing is against our own belief system and our ego tells us that your belief system is absolute. It's what is right. Everything else is wrong. That is ego and, as a result, we get angry.

Roland Perez: 7:03

They're the stress.

David Delrahim: 7:05

And the stress and so on and so forth, and the pain, the mental pain, you know, emotional pain, which everything goes into the body and becomes body pain.

Roland Perez: 7:18

I don't know if you can answer the question, but somebody's going to say what causes ego, what brings it on?

David Delrahim: 7:28

Ego exists just because we are human. Yeah, ego, it's just something that you are born with, all right. What you do with it is just like everything else in life. We always say you live in the life that you create for yourself, right? Do you want that life to be full of ego? That's your choice, you know, is a free will. But what you do with it, you know, do you use that ego to go upward, which I call it wellness, or to go downward, which is a total ego, which is a total illness? Who is in charge?

Roland Perez: 8:10

You.

David Delrahim: 8:13

But we would like to point fingers at everything around us except ourselves.

Roland Perez: 8:20

Basically the thing you've always said, which is taking responsibility. Yes, Tough question, but how do you control it and how do you control ego?

David Delrahim: 8:35

The way we control the ego is to understand what ego is. You know, it's almost like having a friend, an enemy, in the shell of a friend. Once you know what you are dealing with, it's very easy, much easier to manage. If you don't, then you don't and you get hurt. So with the ego, in order to understand what it is, we have to be present, we have to be grounded, and then we know what is in front of us. Is that there is an upward opportunity that comes through ego, which is, you know, our vibration keeps going up, or is it downward or just steady? You know, I believe we find ourselves more in the downward because there are more opportunities to go downward. It's like sliding. It's much easier to go down the hill than to climb up the hill.

Roland Perez: 9:40

When you do that, when you see that and you're aware of it in a lot of ways how do you elevate? What do you do yourself, david? What do you do to get yourself out of it? It happens to you, it's got to happen to you, you're a human being like everybody else, but how do you lift yourself out of it?

David Delrahim: 10:00

Being present. Take a deep breath. You know what we often hear, that when we get angry or we get very emotional, say breathe. That means, you know, bring more oxygen inside your body. And sometimes we cannot even handle this situation. We go for a walk. If we submit to the ego, we are reactive. If we stay neutral and manage ego which is a tough thing to do we become present and we have an opportunity to become proactive than reactive.

Roland Perez: 10:54

When do you know when your ego is causing you harm Through a relationship that's going bad? How do you know when your ego is out of control and it's causing you harm?

David Delrahim: 11:09

Well, you could reverse engineer the process of playing through ego. It always ends up with a body pain or a mental pain. Reverse engineering we've gone through perhaps a process of an emotional exchange or a mental exchange. We reacted to that in a way that it felt good for a split of a second and after that there was a regret and there was a feeling of not good about yourself and about who you are. You just surrender to darkness. That is kind of the reverse engineering process of it. Everything is opportunity in life and we are in control. If you say something, if you do something, you might position yourself at the point of no return. But as long as you stay neutral, you can always come back and approach it from a proactive way, instead of building it, not destroying it.

Roland Perez: 12:50

Doctors say that ego is age-driven. No ego at six years old and less ego at 75. Everything in between is ego-driven, but before six there's very little ego. A five-year-old will walk up to the president of the United States and tug on his shirt. He doesn't know what he's doing. There is no ego there. And then after 75, it seems that people start to accept their life. They're not changing anything, they go inward, they look for themselves and they have less ego. Do you believe that ego is age-driven?

David Delrahim: 13:40

I believe what is age-driven is wisdom. That is definitely could be age-driven, because the wisdom that we acquire is a byproduct of the knowledge and the life experience. And at a much younger age, as a child, there's definitely ego. At point zero, we are born with ego. The children, they use the art of manipulation through ego to have an influence over their parents and that's why the kids jump up and down when they want something. What is that? That is ego. That is a guiding game to manipulate, to get what they want out of their parents. And as we go through life, through the life experiences some of them tough, some of them are easier we get wisdom, we become wiser and later on, I think the ego is there. It's just the wisdom that comes in in contact with the ego and we are more balanced. It is not about we are having less or we are having more, we just more. Wisdom is almost like fire and ice or fire and water. They come together and it is less intense.

Roland Perez: 15:33

Talk about ego for all sorts of things, but one of the things that really is interesting is that ego also drives relationships and family units. So one person in the family with a very strong ego can develop problems within a family circle.

David Delrahim: 15:58

Absolutely. I believe the beginning of everything is us. Everything starts with us Love. You cannot love others until truly, until you start loving yourself. You cannot have a good relationship with others until you have a good relationship with yourself.

David Delrahim: 16:24

Is ego going to get in the way of a relationship of you and you? Absolutely so if ego can interfere, the most intimate relationship, which is you and you, imagine what it can do with your family members, with your friends, with anyone it is that you have to see what is in front of you. Is it an upward ego or is it downward ego? The upward ego is a space of love. The downward ego is a space of. That is really the ego that we say we need to stay away from it because it just sucks us down. It just goes all the way down. You know the hate, the resentment, all of these things come from the downward. As long as we are in love, which is the upward, everything is great, even our relationship with the family members, maybe with our spouses, with our children, at any age. And when it is the other side, it just destroys it. Just, it's that fire that just burns.

Roland Perez: 17:59

Once ago I used to go to a meeting and it was always dominated by one guy who was very passionate about the project that we were working on and he dominated the meeting. And someone once said to me he's very, very passionate, very caring about the project and that is why he takes over the meeting. And I turned to him and I said this is ego. This is he's passionate about it, but he's using it to boost his ego. This is he's taking over the meeting. Look how smart I am, look how good-looking I am. And to others it was a little distracting. To me it was totally distracting because I know where it was coming from. It was coming from the ego, and you probably, as a businessman, have sat in meetings where the person in front of you is just spouting ego. I mean, it's just. I have a tendency just to shut him off. Do you have this? Do you know what I mean when I say there's people in front of you that spout off ego and you don't listen anymore. You start turning them off.

David Delrahim: 19:12

Yes, you know it all goes down to the intention. What the intention is it that? Upward or downward, just like ego? You know what the love intentions is. What we fear. You know it comes from the heart, from a good place, all right.

David Delrahim: 19:39

The intention which is in that, going down in that ego territory, that it is not healthy, again you would feel it. And what does it mean? It's just when ego comes through a channel of the analytical channel which is, I am better, that is the downward ego. You just feel it. I mean you could be talking about a science project, but the intention behind those words they're coming out is something that you would feel. That is a downward and you say it's all about him and that is ego and his being ego testicle. That is the general vicinity that comes and the intention is the channel that we built. The intention again I want to repeat this is the channel that we choose or we build. Whatever it is in that channel. If it is a loving intention, it is that upward high vibrations makes you feel good, makes you feel amazing. If it is a downward, again you would feel it. It makes you uncomfortable. You said this is all about ego. He's being ego testicle I need to get out of here. I just do not like to be in this space.

Roland Perez: 21:22

That's the downside. That's the downside. The word ego, the word arrogance and the word selfishness. I think there's a place where they connect. I think that selfishness and arrogance has something to do with ego. What do you think?

David Delrahim: 21:52

I wholeheartedly believe again in that downward ego space. The selfishness is where it resides. You know. Arrogance is that's where it is. Absolutely. These are all the byproducts of the downward ego space. You know what? Wonder why we are added. Let's add a few other things that we are familiar with that you know. Hate, that's where it is. Anger, that's where it is. It's all cool, they're all in it, they're all swimming together, it's all. They all come from the same pond. You know there's there's zero love in that is. It's completely distinct. You can know someone cannot swim in that Poisonous pond and claim that has love. It just doesn't work. They don't mix. It's like water and oil. They do not mix.

Roland Perez: 23:05

Arrogance and selfishness, and it's just not love and it is not yeah, don't know how we're going to run ourselves into this, but it was a question in a very famous book 25, 30 years ago ego in religion, in faith, and a lot of these preachers I Mean ticket was clothing, huge cuff, links, glorifying backgrounds and they're speaking about God or whatever they're doing, and you can feel the ego coming through the screen. This is not Gandhi, this is something else, and this comes. This comes in certain faith that the leader is Is Very, very egotistical. Have you noticed that?

David Delrahim: 24:03

Absolutely. You know, religions Could easily be hijacked and the faith and and be used as a platform of control to control people's mind. A lot of times, emotions Wealth. All of it is a is it.

Roland Perez: 24:35

There's a. There's a famous I'm not going to mention them on air, but his famous preacher that he started a church to help people and the more he spoke and the more he did, he became more famous and after a while the name of the church was below his name and His name was above it. So he became bigger than his church and when he died the church collapsed Because it was all ego right, ego.

David Delrahim: 25:13

Ego is, it's almost like air, it goes anywhere and everywhere, it goes through all the cracks and it's very expansive, and you know, that is why we need to meditate, need to meditate, we need to ground ourselves and Remind ourselves who we are, where we came from, and exercise humility you know is all about, you know, increasing our capacity as the ego comes in. It doesn't push us outward, we don't get blown up, it's just being humble and Write down, exercise Humility, and that is an exercise that it gives us the opportunity for the upward ego, which is the love, or or we fall for it again. You know, with that that few seconds of fame, that as a human sometimes we cannot resist that urge, but is Downward and we choose, we have choices, everything is a matter of choice in life. So religion is, is, is not really Immune from this whole exercise. And even the religion, the people at the top, so Is ego in there, absolutely? Is ego everywhere? Yes, it is.

Roland Perez: 27:16

What is your best advice for people that are trying to curb their ego? They're trying, they know that. They know, like you said before and a few moments ago, that they know that this is harmful. Is there any advice you have on curtailing your ego?

David Delrahim: 27:37

You know, it is a journey. It is a journey to understand ego, to live with ego in such a way that it not only it doesn't harm you, but it elevates you. The same thing it goes 180 from one end to another who is? In charge, we who can turn the same thing that can take me down, take me and elevate me is me. So I am the driver. I Am as a human. I am the driver is by being grounded, exercise humility and Knowing that I have choices and everything is within my power.

Roland Perez: 28:41

Thank, you, david. Well, so much for ego. And remember better wellness is available just about everywhere, including Spotify, amazon music and iHeart radio. So once again, thanks for supporting better wellness. I'm your host, roland Perez. See you next time.